Monday, April 20, 2009

Adoption April : My thoughts on Adoption

So I'm back! Back at work, and after an eventful weekend that included Kayvmania (pictures and explanation to come) I'm excited to get back to blogging, reading and running! But most importantly, it's still Adoption April! This is the third post in my "Adoption April" series. The Intro, First Post and Second Post can all be found at those links. Today I wanted to post about my thoughts about adoption and why I think it worked well for my family and me.



I know many of you have children of your own, or are at the stage in your life that you are having children or considering this for your family. Personally, I have never thought of myself actually having kids. I don't know why I think like this, but I think possibly that it has to do with the fact that my mom didn't 'have me' so I can't imagine myself being pregnant or actually having a child. I still haven't made a complete decision on whether or not I want to physically have children but I think that also will depend on when and who I marry and all that sort of thing. Go ahead, comment with what ever you think, but remember everyone is different.



I do think that adoption is such a powerful thing, and honestly, I will consider it when I am ready to have children. I think a lot of people think that adoption is only adopting drug babies, problem babies, or children that have gone through foster care, which isn't true. I was a completely healthy, albeit small, baby and was adopted into a loving home. My birth mom never contacted my parents to ask for me back, there were never any issues with her or my birth family. I know that could have been a possibility, but it hasn't happened yet... :)

Photobucket

BABY DANICA!!!! :)



When I was growing up, most people honestly couldn't believe I was adopted. I looked like my family and had the same attitude and mannerisms as my mother. Now, I am JUST. LIKE. MY. MOM. It was never a 'weird' thing to talk about with my friends either. Surprisingly enough, one of my best friends and now roommate is also adopted. We sometimes talk about it, and our feelings, but like me, she has known her entire life that she was adopted. She also harbors no bad feelings towards either sets of her parents. It's a fun bond that we share together and it's also nice to talk about our adoptions together.

I never, ever felt different than other kids. I never felt like I had a different relationship with my parents or different family setting. I think the openness that my parents had helped this, and I also never felt unwanted, or uncommitted too. I never felt abandoned or like my birth parents didn't love me or want me and that's why they 'gave me up'. They were mature enough to realize that they couldn't provide the best life for me and wanted to give me a chance at a better life. That is why they gave me up for adoption.



The best part about adoption is that I was openly welcomed into a family that I wasn't biologically part of. I NEVER felt unaccepted, or questioned if I was suppose to be there. Granted, I grew up with my family, grandparents and cousins that all loved me unconditionally and I think that always made me feel welcome and loved. I was a part of my family unconditionally. I think that has made the biggest difference for me.

I wasn't born into a family, I don't know my exact heritage, or who gave birth to me, but at the same time that doesn't make me less of a person, or question why I'm here or what I'm doing without my original family. I have always thought of my adoptive family as my one and only family. I would like to meet my birth parents one day but I honestly don't have the money to hire a private investigator and everything at the moment so I know it will come with time, but I am looking more into it. I understand that they might not even want to be in communication with me at the same time. I feel that the only important thing that I would need to possibly get from them is my families medical history for any genetic diseases that I might be exposed too. If they would like to communicate than that's also great. I will discuss more about them in my next post which is suppose to be all about them and my feelings and what I do know about them.

Photobucket

Sweet outfit! :)
Please feel free to email any questions you may have for the last post of adoption April to (danica) (koo) @ (gmail) (dot) (com).

So a quick running update, bullet point style

  • I was in a huge running rut
  • I took over a week and a half off, only running twice and running two shorter runs
  • I don't know how anyone can run in Hawaii, it's WAY too hot and the Humidity... killer!
  • My toenail finally came off... BOO!
  • BUT! underneath there was a new toenail! Yay! I don't look like a freak!
  • I got back to running this weekend and realized that I'm out of shape so I am going to work really hard to get back into shape and nail the San Diego Marathon that is also only 41 short days away!

This week I'm going to work on getting my endurance back (shouldn't be too hard) and then I have a long run planned this weekend that will get me back nose to the grindstone.

As for the Hawaii post? I've decided to separate them up into two posts, one probably tomorrow and one on Friday :) It was amazing and wonderful and now I have a sweet tan. We did lots of cool stuff and I took a ton of pictures so I'll share some with you, don't worry. I also have some good reviews coming up, including a review of the Garmin. Hope everyone had a wonderful week without me.

xoxo

39 comments:

runsarah said...

Thank you so much for sharing..it gave me a lot of insight into the possibility of adoption in the future.

D10 said...

I have never thought of Morgan as "not being mine" nor has anyone in our family. She really is a perfect fit. It is actually funny how her personality and mine are very similiar.

Denise said...

I would like to think no one has any comments for you regarding the fact that you don't know if you want to have children. It's a personal decision and we have the right to choose what we want to do. Having children is not the sole purpose of a woman. As you can tell, I am one step ahead of you and have decided I will not be having my own children. That's not to say I will not be a mother, a parent, a grandparent...if I do, I'll do it by giving a child a chance at a good loving home through adoption.

X-Country2 said...

Another great Adoption April. Welcome home, and I can't wait to read all about your trip!

The Reality of Happily Ever After said...

Again... thanks so much for sharing your adoption experiences -- I LOVE hearing from someone who understands it from a good point of view first hand --

Can't wait to hear about Hawaii!

Adventures in Newlywed said...

What a sweet story! Yay, can't wait for the Hawaii posts!

Kim said...

Thanks for sharing. I love your story.

Glad you had a great trip. Can't wait to hear about it and see pics. My mom lived there for 5 years and it was my second home for a while. I miss it!

Lucky in Love said...

Missed you!

So glad you had such a wonderful time in Hawaii! Can't wait to hear more about it.

Thanks again for sharing your adoption story. You have such a positive outlook on the whole thing. That seems to be very rare (or at least you don't always hear that side of it). I'm so glad you had such a wonderful family to belong to!

LyndsAU said...

I am so glad you shared this!! it is a great story! that picture is precious :)
good luck with running and getting back into it! i haven't been running much with being pregnant and all but i have been running about 3 days a week for a mile. it's something right :)

Alisa said...

It is so great to hear more about your story. Growing up the family next door adopted a little girl and I would babysit for her and her older sister. They were like two peas in a pod!

Can't wait to hear about Hawaii.

P.S. That was a SWEET outfit, however I think I may have one that can beat it =).

runningcommentaries said...

You'll whip back into shape in no time... a week and a half isn't too much. Thanks for being so open and sharing-- it's really cool to hear about.

Tara Gibson said...

thank you so much for sharing! I hope you had an amazing trip and I cant wait to read about it!

Kristen said...

Welcome home - another great post!

Can't wait to read about Hawaii!

Mojito Maven said...

thank you so much for sharing friend...and I am green with envy about your hawaii trip!! can't wait to see photos. xoxo

Candice said...

I love hearing about your story! I'm already looking forward to the next post.

I'm so glad you had a great time in Hawaii, and that you made it back safely! I can't wait to see the pictures. I've never been there, but I know it's supposed to be so beautiful!

J said...

Welcome back! Glad you had such a great time on your trip! Your endurance will come back quick! It is amazing how it just kinda hibernates!

I think its great that you are like your mom, just shows that it isn't all about genetics but about who you are around when you grow up! They always say that when you marry someone you start to look like them, maybe its the same for children that are adopted!!

Lacy said...

I can't wait to read about your Hawaii trip. I lived on Oahu from 05-08, but didn't mind running in Humidity since I grew up with it in SC too. Thank you again for sharing your adoption story. Your insider view had been so helpful to understanding adoption better! I know that our future children, whether biological or adopted will feel so WANTED.

aron said...

another great adoption post :)

when i went to maui last may i didnt run the whole time i was there. i was fine jumping back into training the next week for SFM. you will be back in no time!

Sharneysrun said...

What a cute baby Danica! Your pictures are adorable! Hope you enjoyed every second of your Hawaii trip! Don't worry about your endurance... it will come back quicker than you think! The rest from running will leave you fresh, strong and ready to leave everyone in the dust! Can't wait for the recap of your vacay :-)

Billy Burger said...

Thanks for sharing Danica and welcome back. You were cute as a button as a baby/kid!

I'm with ya about the humidity. My worse side tends to come out if I have to deal with those types of conditions.

Now let's get runnin!

P.O.M. said...

That last pic is so cute. YOU look exactly the same.

Nicole said...

Thanks for sharing again! I have never really thought about adoption but after reading your posts I would seriously consider it when i'm ready to have children.

I like how open your parents were with you about it too. I wouldnt have wanted it any other way.

Glad you had fun on vacay, and dont worry, your running will be back in no time! :)

Ted said...

Your post was quite powerful. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful post. I have met a friend in college who was adopted just like you. He thinks of his parents as his biological parents in his heart - even tho he was adopted. It was touching. I cannot wait to hear about your vacation. Hope you had a chance to read a little bit on the Hawaiian beach. I know its hard to run in Hawaii with the heat and humidity.

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

Thanks for sharing! Loved all the posts!

jlc said...

Welcome back!! And thank you for being so open and honest with us. You have an incredible story that many other women should know.

Anddddd I also think we totally had the same exact sailor dress from when we were little! You are such a cutie!! :)

A Balancing Act said...

Wow. Thanks for sharing your story. Hearing it first hand from you definitely gave me some useful insight on adoption.

Wearing Mascara said...

I love how open you are and how open your family was to you growing up. I also love how you are sharing this with all of us! :-) xoxo

Marci said...

I really look forward to your posts on this. thanks for sharing with us again. I really believe things happen as they are meant to. Your adoptive parents were meant to be your parents!

Jodi said...

Love that SWEET outfit, almost as much as I love you! ;)

Your Adoption April posts are great...can't wait for next week's!

J.J. said...

That is a wonderful family shot! I love it...and the cheesy outfits make it great!

Thanks for sharing!

I have had too many laughs after clicking on Cake Wrecks! Thanks a ton :)

FLYERS26 said...

Great Story!
Best of luck to you in everything you want to do in your life.

I Love Your Whole Face said...

My toenail fell off the day before my wedding. So I just painted the skin. Isn't running pretty??? Thanks for sharing all of this with us. BTW, love the sailor suit!

Surrounded By Boys said...

I had a sailor outfit like that when I was little (only it was yellow with navy trim) and I LOVED IT!

I once had a toenail fall off, too, and I couldn't believe there was another one right underneath! That's so weird!

Glad you had such a nice upbringing by parents who really wanted you. There are some people out there who are raised by parents who had NO BUSINESS having kids, my own included. :( Adoption is a beautiful thing!

chia said...

Boo toe! But look at you! Those lil-pics are soooo cute! Thanks for the positivity and verbal sunshine -- you always have a neato way of making me smile :-)

*~! megs !~* said...

Thanks so much for sharing this with us! And yay for a new toenail and not having a freaky toe!!

Can't wait for your Hawaii posts!

Marisa said...

I recently found your blog and I am so glad I did! We share a similar background and it is wonderful to read someone else's journey as an adopted child. Thank you so much for sharing!

Run For Life said...

It's good to hear how you feel about adoption. When I was about 12 a friend said something about my sister not being my "real" sister and I flipped out on her, haha. So I definitely agree that it's a wonderful thing and will probably consider it strongly in the future. :)

Yay for the toe not looking freakish and I hope you had a fabulous time!

The Laminator said...

Finally got a chance to read this today. It answered a lot of questions I had about your adoption. Thanks so much for sharing.

Melanie said...

I had a navy/red dress JUST like that, and my hair looked exactly the same. Seriously... I looked at that picture and thought it could have been me at that age!